My EC journey

Elimination Communication

Natural Infant Hygiene

Infant Toileting

Whatever you want to call it!

So I am going to try to blog about my journey through EC from the start. I hope that I will be able to continue to do this as my baby grows, but I do tend to start things and then let them slip, so I may be an occasional writer.

I thought that the place to start with this is from the beginning, my EC journey started when I was about 20 weeks pregnant. I had sort of heard of toileting infants before, but never really gave it any thought. Then while researching cloth diapers I came across some post or blog or website of some kind about EC. Then I googled EC. Then I downloaded all of the EC books I could find to my kindle. Then I watched EC videos on youtube. Then I read every EC blog I could find, e-mailed the writers, searched for other moms who do this and made myself a little support group. Then I found the diaperfreebaby website and I am absolutely hooked. I am a researcher, I am obsessed and I have way too much time. So I dove right into this.

So the first thing I did was read, a lot. Then I talked to my boyfriend about it, I had no idea how he would respond. Erich has  no experience with babies, at all. I had no idea how he would feel about my crazy new idea, but he was totally on board from the first moment. He is a bit of a hippie and into things being as natural as possible. He totally supported the idea of cloth diapers, even though he has never changed a diaper in his life, and to be honest he is still very nervous with the idea. He liked the idea of toileting from the start, we could save our baby from sitting in his own eliminations, and he's really loving the idea of being close to our baby. For a big tough guy, he is so excited about baby wearing, and toiling. It's sweet to see. So I read him some information, bought him a book and showed him the videos I had watched. I've described to him how it is done, or how I expect that it will be done, and he is excited to put his baby on the potty as much as I am.

Another thing about Erich that I am absolutely loving is that he is so willing to look into any strange thing that I may suggest. Having no baby experience he looks to me to help him know how to take care of the baby. So when I suggested first of all that we use cloth diapers, he looked at the different types with me, so he could figure out how they worked. When I said I wanted to breast feed, he looked into pumps and storage and bottles with me so he could help out too. I wanted to delay vaccinations, and skip some all together, so he listened as I researched day after day every vaccine, disease, treatment, and schedule. He doesn't just go along with whatever I say, he listens to me and then shares his opinions. We have discussed everything that I have stumbled on and have been able to agree on everything down to circumcision and our baby's name (Franklin Kristopher). To be honest, picking a name has been the most challenging decision we have made so far. Without such a supportive partner I don't know how we could make this idea of EC work.

I also want to say something about communication. I took an online course once for a job, the class was called 'Articulating Expectations.' It mostly was a silly course that everyone had to take, but I did get one thing from it that has stayed with me. The point was basically that if I have a problem and I don't say something, then how can I expect the other person to fix the problem. Simple. That has helped me in so many ways. I can say to Erich that I don't like something he is doing, it's not a fight, it's to inform him. He also can tell me if he doesn't like something I am doing, we don't attack each other, we inform each other. How can I expect him to stop doing something that bothers me if he doesn't know it bothers me? And the same vice versa. In the end this is just good communication between the two of us, and we will extend that to our little boy as well.

Ok, back to my EC journey. I've found a wonderful man, made a baby and decided to do EC. Erich would just do it quietly and see how it goes, but I am so excited I have to tell everyone I've ever met about it. I've posted about it on my Facebook, and told even strangers about it. I've told every friend I have that we are going to do this, and anyone with a new baby has heard of EC from me. That's when the skepticism started, the people telling me I'm nuts, people saying it's silly, or that it won't work, or that I'm going to be a slave to his elimination. The negativity was dumped onto me, but I don't really care because I know it's going to work and that it's a perfect option for my little family. Since I am a good communicator, and I don't mind a little confrontation either, I have been able to get people to start thinking of this as something I'm going to do, even if they think it's silly.

Dealing with our families is where I started to really assert myself as this baby's mother. We travel for work, and so we are rarely close to home. It's a chance of luck that we are close to home for the birth of our baby, I am so happy to  share this with our families. Initially our idea was to hook up our RV and go south to someplace warm after the baby was born and just focus on him, just the three of us. But the more we talked about it, we just don't think this would be fair to our families. We are only off work for about 6 weeks after he is born and then we will be too far away to visit regularly, so we want to share him here. So I struggled with how we were going to make this work with people passing him around all day, and not believing in this process. My decision was to focus on the communication for now, and to ask my family and his family do so as well. So I've described to everyone that if they notice he is going they have to make the "psst" sound. We will "catch" what we can, but focus on communicating. This is my compromise. My mom is worried about her carpets but we're going to use cloth diaper backup. Erich's mom just wants to hold him every minute until we leave. I've explained to everyone and I think I've got everyone pretty much on the same page with us. I think that as soon as they see him go on the potty, they will jump in and learn his cues and try to toilet him too. He is going to be breastfed so it's not like he's going to be out of my sight much in the beginning, but it's important to me to have everyone who is caring for him to be meeting his needs the same way.

This is going to go on forever, I can't believe anyone is still reading. Well, it's for me anyway so read on if you will, I'll keep typing.

So the thing that first got me interested in EC was the idea of saving money and waste in the landfill. It started with my research on cloth diapers, because I wanted to be as clean as possible and also as cheap as possible. When I became pregnant I stopped working, I was pretty useless that first trimester anyway, and a big ole prego belly is not something you should have on a construction site anyway. So I thought that if I'm not going to bring money into my family, I should find ways to save my family money, in the end it works out. EC fits the bill, it's free. We're going to use cloth diaper backup, and we've been given enough disposables to last us until he fits the cloth diapers we were given at our shower. I'll use washcloths instead of wipes, after we've used up all the ones we have from the shower. I am going to breastfeed, also free. So on top of that I've also started to make my own laundry soap, not a huge time investment and wicked cheap. I've started to make my own home cleaning products, no chemicals, no time investment, and also super cheap. I am not working so I have plenty of time to do this research, and I love to share my ideas.  We've also started making dishwasher soap and liquid hand soap. These things don't take much time but save a TON of money. Because of the money we are saving, the loss of my income hasn't really made any difference in our situation.

This is the beginning of my EC journey. My baby is due in two more weeks, which feels like forever at this point. I want to start this as soon as he is born, I hope I can save him from some of the challenges that infants and toddlers face as they grow. I want my baby to feel like his needs are met, and that we are there to help him all the time. I don't want my baby to learn to sit in his own eliminations, I don't want him to struggle to potty train when he's 3 years old, and I don't want him to ever suffer from diaper rash. EC can make these things possible for him, and all it asks of me is an investment of time. I know that may be a lot to ask from some women, but I have the time. I am not a busy person, and this is my only baby right now, I'm willing to put in the work up front to get the benefits later. A son who is comfortable with his body and confident that his father and mother are there to meet his needs. That's worth my time.

I hope I can keep up with journaling, although not this long each time. I don't want to forget anything about my son's infancy and I think journaling is the way to remember everything. I also hope that my journey to EC will help someone else with their journey also.